New and Improved!

New and improved!  Now 30% better!  Redesigned and rebuilt!  Now more cup holders!
I tend to scoff at commercials that claim their projects are now better.  You shouldn't  need to reformula and redesign if you made it right the first time.  However, recent lifestyle changes have made me rethink this attitude. 
I have been introduced to a new lifestyle; that of a diabetic.  I come from a long line of pancreas-challenged folk, so I am quite familiar with diabetes.  I also knew that with that diagnosis comes changes - big changes.
My first stop after the doc's office was the dietician.  I have had the pleasure of working with several dieticians in my former life as an eating disorder patient.  Back then, the dietician was a figure to be scorned as they created diets ensured to put back on pounds that starvation had taken off.  Sure, I was going to spend the second twenty years of my life taking off pounds that I had spent the first twenty years putting on! 
My dietician was the greatest.  She spent a lot of time asking questions about my history and my current eating habits.  Then, with a flash from her calculator, she created my new diet. 
Used to be that diabetics could have nothing containing sugar.  Sugar = bad.  After much research, the medical community has found that it's not the sugar, it's the carbs.  Carbohydrates are basically sugars and starches found in such yummy food as pasta, potatoes, cereal, bread and yes, even rice cakes.  I now found myself allotted 11 carb exchanges a day.  An exchange would calculate one slice of bread as 1 carb.  Yikes!  I call this diet the "if-it-tastes-good-spit-it-out" diet.
The second item I was introduced to at my dietician's office was a blood glucometer to measure my blood sugar.  The first time I used it at the office it came back with a very scary number.  Sure that the meter was faulty, she had me try again.  Same number.  After just a few questions, we both discerned that my Olive Garden lunch was the culprit. 
Now, I really like my dietician.  She gave me great advice and wonderful tools to help me be healthier.  However, dieticians don't always live in the real world.  I present as evidence some of her helpful statements. 
"Frozen sugar-free pudding tastes the same as ice cream".  (Obviously, she's never had ice cream!)
Sugar-free grape kool-aid over ice is the same as a frozen lemonade.  (See previous comment!)
"You know what else is really good - fat free cream cheese on melba toast" (Please define your definition of good for me!)
The first several days I was paralyzed with fear that I would eat something that would render me unconscious, or worse - over my carb limit for the day.  I actually burst in tears on day 4 when I dropped my corn dog (1 meat, 1 carb and 1 fat) on the floor and my lighting-quick dog, Lucy, gobbled it up before my very eyes.  
After a couple of weeks, I was navigating potluck like a pro.  One of my best friends gave me one of the best birthday presents I would ever receive.  She filled my freezer with homecooked meal marked with how many carbs, meats, fats per serving.  How amazing is that!
I have hit a few potholes and a couple of moon craters, but I'm almost to 30 pounds lost.  Someday soon I hope to weigh what my driver's license says I weigh.  (Great job, DOT people, on not making women prove that we weigh what we say we weigh on our application!)  When I dropped my first jeans' size, I called my brother to tell him the great news.  Complete silence on his end of the phone.  I hung up and called my sister-in-law. 
Next installment - Exercise A.K.A. Torture with Cute Outfits.