Thursday, May 30, 2013

Week 8: Cardio and Cake

This week included some interesting elements.  My Personal Trainer (PT) was away and I was left to my own devices in the gym. I do not like being in the gym by myself.  I prefer to work out with my PT or exercise partner.  I feel better when I am with someone who knows that my inability to complete simple sentences is a sign of low blood sugar.  However, if I do have to go alone, I choose a time when there are other people at the gym.  My PT had texted me an exercise plan and my gym time was like a military exercise - get in, get it done and get out!  I look forward to once again exercising under the watchful guidance of PT or the company of  an exercise partner.
It was also the weekend of the Graduation Open Houses.  As a church youth workers, I have the privilege of walking with children and teenagers through an important, formative time in their lives.  It is filled with joy and laughter, and occasionally, tears and sadness.  I get to be part of the best and the worst of their lives.  I am truly blessed. I also get to be part of their family celebrations, including Graduation.
The Graduation Open House is a phenomenon in which a young adult's family throws a huge bash, inviting all of their friends, family and anyone who stumbles in off the street, feeding them copious amounts of food.  It is often punctuated by the hosts' plea to "eat more food".  What are we as gracious guests to do?!?
The Graduation Open House presents many challenges for those of us trying to get the scale to move backwards.  The Open House always includes the graduates' favorite foods such as meatballs and cookie salad.  I attended an Open House last year and it was apparent that grandma had been cooking for six months to feed a crowd roughly the population of Pennsylvania.  Grandma guided me firmly by the arm to the buffet table and opened each roaster full of amazing German food.  When I tried to decline her offering, she defended her position by saying, "It's all good for you.  I made it with cream and eggs and butter and ...".  How can you argue with logic like that?!?
I was invited to five Graduation Open Houses for the Class of 2013.  I had a warm up on the weekend before Graduation and navigated the food with my dietician's voice in my head, "remember, if it tastes good, spit it out".  The food offered was amazing and I hadn't had lunch, so I enjoyed the pulled pork and some fruit pizza.  What?  It has the word "fruit" in it?
The following Saturday the other four Open Houses were held between noon and 6:00 p.m.  I got up, had a healthy breakfast, went to the gym for some cardio, came home and enjoyed a light, healthy lunch.  My game plan was:  only one piece of cake, fruit and veggies whenever I could find them and a sampling of family favorites.  Bring on the parties!
The afternoon did not disappoint, traveling from one table laden with wonderful food to the next.  They all included appetizers, salads and, of course, cake.  All the food looked wonderful.  There was a great diversity in the offering and each crockpot held something delicious. Many of the parties had pulled pork.
One year, I had seven Graduation Open Houses to attend.  Every Open House served sloppy joes.  A great food to serve a crowd and a very economical choice, to be sure.  I couldn't look at sloppy joes for about six months after that.
All of the families were wonderful hosts, catering to our every need and making sure that you had gotten enough to eat.  It was the typical May day on the prairie, breezy with a storm promised later.  At one house, we sat out on the deck and enjoyed the sunshine while it still shined.  Graduation in our town is typically done outside.  When the weather does not cooperate, the ceremony is moved in to the high school gym and seating becomes a premium.  Each graduate is alloted four tickets.  If their immediate family includes more than four people, choices have to be made.  OK, well Mom gets to come because she birthed you.  Dad gets to come because he's married to mom.  Now what do you do with siblings and grandparents?  My prayers are with those families!
I arrived home about three hours a bit tired from all the celebrating and proud for the amazing people my "kids" have become.  My "kids" and I have spent many hours together on road trips, retreats, concerts and lock ins.  I know their preferences, their struggles and their families.  I have sat up with them laughing, snacking and dancing late into the night.  I have prayed them through tough decisions, bad choices and amazing comebacks!  Now comes the hard part - watching them fly.  I know that God has His hand over them and He's got a plan for their lives.  It will be a joy to watch them learn, grow and celebrate their future accomplishments, weddings and children.  And all of those celebrations will be sweet because there might be cake there!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Week 7: On Your Marks...

Our North Dakota spring weather has been a bit unpredictable, to put it mildly.  Our huge April snowfall delayed our May showers and we haven't been able to string together any sort of stable weather pattern.  I leave the house in the morning in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, only to roast when the temperature hits eighty degrees by noon.  I brazenly wore sandals and capris to a sand volleyball league meeting and drove home with the heat on my frozen toes. 
When I lived in Wisconsin, my coworkers would joke with me about how windy it is on my beloved prairie.  Their favorite question was "what happens to the people in North Dakota when the wind stops blowing?  They fall over!"  Tuesday morning was covered by a high wind alert and I was sure that I would look "windblown" all day.  I was in for a pleasant surprise when it was merely breezy by the late afternoon.  The sun was shining and my personal trainer (PT) decided that we should go outside for some warm up and cardio. 
I am sorry to admit that I have come to rely upon lunges and squats as great stretches before I move into anything more vigorous.  They also serve as a great barometer for my arthritic knees.  If my knees are sore, we need to take longer to warm up and amend the work out. 
On Tuesday, I was painfree and up for anything.  PT decided that I would run a bit and I was pretty excited.  Yes, I know that I have openly mocked those who claim they love to run. I held two firm reasons for my mocking: 1.  Humans should only run if you are being chased; especially if you are being chased by bears.  2.  God did not put us at the top of the food chain so we had to run.  As hard as this is for me to admit... you were right.  It is enjoyable.  I will never be a marathon runner; maybe not even a 5K competitor.  But I am finding that I enjoy the new challenge. 
PT had me walk as much as I ran.  I would run from one direction and he would walk to meet me from the other direction.  It was a beautiful day to be outside and I think the neighbors enjoyed watching me run around the block and walk back the other direction.
Let me make it clear that I do not have the stamina or rhythymn of a runner yet.  I'm sure it looks more like I am being chased by bears when I run.  I haven't found my stride.  I'm not even sure my stride is out there to be found.  I guess that will remains to be seen.
Back in the gym, it was lots of resistance training and core on the floor.  I work hard for about 35 minutes and cool down for 5 minutes.  I have seen progress in the weeks since I started at the gym.  I don't stumble out to the car after a work out just happy to get home before my knees buckle.  I am energized and often take up my least favorite chores with enthusiasm after my exercises. 
I was at my doctor's office last week and am happy to report that I have lost over 35 pounds since my diabetes diagnosis (sorry for the shameless bragging!).  Giving all the glory to God for his hand in my diet and exercise!  I have very little willpower and my history with exercise has been a love/hate relationship.  I really don't have a hard time passing up sweets most of the time.  Of course, I do enjoy treats every once in a while and sometimes I just really need ice cream!  Oh, speaking of ice cream.  I also saw my dietician last week also.  ( My dietician is an amazing lady who has cheered me through the months since my diagnosis. She works hard to make my eating healthy and enjoyable.  She always has great ideas on how to enjoy a treat without sabotaging my diet.  Most of her suggestions are great.  A couple... well, not so much.  She once told me that sugar free pudding frozen tastes just like ice cream.  Of course, this leads me to believe that she has never eaten ice cream before in her life!  It's not even close in my book.  Bless her heart! 
Anyway, although my blood sugars are still a bit unpredictable, I haven't crashed and burned for several weeks.  I am still very vigilant about my eating and blood sugar, but I am more confident than I have been for quite some time.
I wasn't back in the gym until Saturday last week as PT was sick and I was busy with end of the school year celebrations at church.  Saturday trips to the gym are cardio work outs.  It feels good to walk out of the gym sweaty after a good hour of biking, elliptical and treadmill. 
I play sand volleyball on a church league during the summers and have been itching to get into the sand and play.  Our Saturday practice was rained out and moved to Wendy's when the thunder and lighting chased us from the court.  Sunday's games were called on account of the sand volleyball courts are now home to small pools of water.  I didn't miss freezing and coming home wet and very dirty. 
The next week is filled with opportunities to celebrate with my high school senior youth group members as they graduate and begin a new chapter in their lives.  I enjoy going to the open houses, visiting with friends and watching these young people with admiration at the amazing men and women they have become.  I can remember these young people when they were in my first vacation bible school preschool/kindergarten class.  The young men tower over me now and make me feel a bit older than I used to be.   I am so impressed by how kind, considerate and compassionate these amazing people are.  What a blessing to be a part of their lives.  I look forward to seeing what paths the Lord will lead them down.  No matter where they go and how old they grow, they are always "my kids". 
OK, I'll admit it... I am also looking forward to scoring a piece of graduation cake.  I'm sure my dietician would tell me that the raw veggie and fruit salad taste just as wonderful as cake.  However, she will not be there and I will never tell.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Week 6: Ramping It UP

As promised previously, my personal trainer (PT) racheted up my training last week.  We had been languishing on weight machines, rowing machines, exercise bikes and core exercises on the floor.  I know that all of these exercises are important and the increase my strength and endurance. After my unfortunate blood sugar diving incident, PT had been cautious about increasing my work outs until we knew what my gluocse levels were going to do.  However, I was ready for something a bit more challenging.  PT did not disappoint.
I was in the gym Tuesday with a potential exercise partner, we began our warm up on the bikes as PT did a quick assessment to determine their fitness level.  We were off for lunges, squats and variations of the theme with weights.  We jumped on the bikes (OK, maybe I gingerly sat down) midway through the workout for a quick break so I could catch my breath and check my blood sugar.  After both were successfully completed, we were off for some core on the floor.  Man, I cannot wait until the day when that gets easier!  After "planks", holding yourself up with your forearms and toes, everything burns.  It even hurts to breathe!  Who knew getting healthy could be so painful?!?
I was sufficiently sweaty and tired after my Tuesday workout, but I was pleased that I was once again pushing my fitness level.
Wednesday dawned early with my faithful canine companion, Lucy, jumping on the bed at 6:07 a.m. to wake me up.  I would like to say that she was impatient for my company, but she really wants to be fed.  As I sat up, I was reminded what post-work out feels like.  I stumbled down the stairs after Lucy and realized that the muscles in my hips and everything south were very tight.  I did some stretches, took some ibuprofen and headed out to face the day.  Sitting down was painful and standing was painful, which doesn't leave a lot of other alternatives.  It was a good hurt, though; one that reminded me that I am making progress. 
Thursday started much the same as Wednesday.  Usually I feel more pain two days after a heavy work out and that rule held true.  Throughout the day, I walked while I was on the phone and stretched when possible.  It was a beautiful day, so PT took me outside for some lunges and squats.  If any of you are short on entertainment, you could set up lawn chairs across the street from my gym and rate my warm up.  I can see it now "9.2", "6.8"!  Anyway, my hips were really sore and we retreated to the gym for some more intense stretching that includes PT doing the stretching and me gritting my teeth as I wait for relief.  It worked, though, so we worked on weights, alternating with biking and core on the floor.  My cool times have gotten shorter and I was out of the gym and on my way to my next meeting in no time.
I returned to the gym on Saturday for about an hour of cardio and stretching.  I shake my head as I write that the warm up stretches that work the best for me are --- squats and lunges.  PT told me that this is some of the best exercises and he likes to use them.  Well, I like ice cream, but I have to settle for squats and lunges!  I left the gym feeling great and ready to tackle the rest of the day.
My weight loss has been steady during my time in the gym.  I rely upon my doctors and dietician's appointments to get weighed as I do not own a scale.  As a recovering anorexic, having a scale can be a dangerous weapon to me.  That number can dictate my mood and eating habits and that is a slippery slope.  I don't need a scale as I can use my clothes as a good measuring tool.  I am currently wearing three different sizes, depending on the garment.  It's exciting to wear clothes that have been hibernating in the back of my closet for years!  I look in the mirror and see myself coming in to focus.
As a recovering eating disorders patient, I have a very distorted view of body images - my own and other people's.  Every couple of years I stumble across pictures taken when I was at my lowest weights - around 85 pounds - and am sorry to say that I don't think that I look too bad.  Other people would be shocked by those images, I'm sure, but I did not see it then and I still struggle to see it now. 
My new found confidence has been hard fought.  I see people in the gym who are fighting the battle too.  They may struggle to find the courage to get into their exercise clothes, go to the gym and get on the bike or the tread mill and work hard to get healthy.  They may be self-conscious about their fitness level, but they are doing it!  They are going several times a week and working hard to reach their goals.  My PT has worked hard to help me reach my own goals.  Having an exercise partner will help me reach my goals.  And, above all, I give God the glory for giving me the courage and the health to take that step every day.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Week 5: Back on Track

My fifth week of training began on Sunday with a 5K.  The Mandan High School's S.A.D.D. (Students Against Destructive Decisions) Chapter was raising money for educational experiences and it was the perfect opportunity to gauge my stamina.  Sunday was a bit breezy (for non-North Dakotans that means 25 mph winds), but it wasn't cold.  I was walking alone which made me a bit nervous.  However, a quick poke and my blood sugar told me I was good to go.
The run/walk was a 5K or a 10 K.  Five K is about 3.2 miles to those non-metric folk.  Many families came to walk or run together.  The walkers included older adults, mothers pushing strollers and high school students.
The runners began the race with the walking herd following behind them.  I picked a nice, brisk pace passing a several walkers.  With my earbuds in and my MP3 tuned to some upbeat music, I enjoyed the walk on a beautiful North Dakota spring day. 
The route went from NISC on the outskirts of Mandan to Collins, a major north/south road in Mandan and back to NISC.  There are some impressive inclines which set my heart to beating and my lungs to breathing.  About halfway to the turnaround point, I met the 5K runners on their way back.  There is a steady uphill climb on the way back to the finish line.  I was still trudging along at a respectable pace, keeping left to let the runners go past me.  I could hear the finish line before I could see it.  There were no cheering crowds to motivate me forward but I did pick up the pace for the 100 yards.  My finishing time was 1:05:35 - 1 hour, five minutes and 35 seconds.  About 20 minutes per mile.  That was my best time ever!!!  Of course, it was my only time, but who's keeping track?!?
I was surprised that I felt really good.  My blood sugar was a bit low, but I grabbed a sports drink on the way out of the parking lot.
Monday's church exercise class did a three mile DVD and although I was sweaty, it wasn't impossible.  Seeing how far I have come in this short time motivates me to stick with it.
I have always found that my diet is easier to follow if I am exercising to.  I have to want that ice cream/cake/dessert pretty bad if I am willing to use my carb exchanges to have it.  I also know that I will need to burn that off at some point. However, some things are worth the splurge!  My exercise regimen is easier to stick to because I have "in your face" accountability at the gym.  If I didn't move my lazy body off the couch all weekend, I'm going to pay for that with my personal trainer (PT) come Tuesday afternoon. 
What I was unprepared for was the realization that discipline in my diet and exercise has carried over into other parts of my life.  I am becoming more disciplined in my spiritual life, finding more balance between work and personal time and even find money management to be easier.  I take more credit for these facts - God needs the glory for setting these things into motion (literally and figuratively).  I struggle with self-discipline and I believe that this is the answer to prayer.
Back at the gym on Tuesday, PT set a brisk pace and I was happy to be breathless and sweaty.  PT has gradually stepped up the workouts after the "big crash" and I have impatiently waited for more challenging exercises.  This is the calm before the storm, I guess. 
PT led me through weights for my arms and some interval training on the bike.  A minute of fast pedaling followed by a minute of slower pedaling.  I even faced the beast - elliptical machine - again.  I haven't climbed on the beast for a couple of weeks.  It seriously kicks my backside, but it's a great cardio work out.  I look forward to the day when I can jump on and go for 20 minutes at a time without a paramedic standing by.
I am back to doing "core on the floor", a phrase that should strike terror in anyone who knows what that means.  Core exercises strengthen your core muscles - abdominals, etc.  They include crunches, planks and many other moves that look like a dying cockroach to those spectators working away at the treadmills right next to me.  I write this only partially in jest as I have watched others do these exercises and there is no graceful way to execute them.
I have observed that people are more real at the gym than they are elsewhere in polite society.  You really can't hold in your stomach and try to look thinner when you are on the floor doing core exercises.  Don't bother with hair or make up as any real workout will make this a huge waste of time.  Your best bet is to pull your hair back and wipe the mascara off so you don't smear it all over while wiping away sweat.  Oh, yeah -- people at the gym sweat.  Few perspire.  Take that, ladies deodorant makers!
Thursday, PT told me to expect to ramp up the work out the following week. We will do 15 minutes of weights, etc and 15 to 20 minutes of hard work. I am excited, nervous and a little scared. I am confident that we have successfully navigated the blood sugar speed bump. However, as a precaution, I will be carrying my glucometer with me and checking my sugars mid-work out. My snacks about an hour and a half before exercise need to be a bit lighter as I would prefer not to have the contents of my stomach make an encore appearance!
As I thought through my nervousness, I came to the epiphany that I trust PT to keep me safe (and conscious), so I will surrender to the process and hope that surrender will seep into other areas of my life also.  To surrender to our God means trusting that He will keep you safe and conscious of the work that He is doing in our lives.  Say a prayer for me as I jump in with both feet!