As promised previously, my personal trainer (PT) racheted up my training last week. We had been languishing on weight machines, rowing machines, exercise bikes and core exercises on the floor. I know that all of these exercises are important and the increase my strength and endurance. After my unfortunate blood sugar diving incident, PT had been cautious about increasing my work outs until we knew what my gluocse levels were going to do. However, I was ready for something a bit more challenging. PT did not disappoint.
I was in the gym Tuesday with a potential exercise partner, we began our warm up on the bikes as PT did a quick assessment to determine their fitness level. We were off for lunges, squats and variations of the theme with weights. We jumped on the bikes (OK, maybe I gingerly sat down) midway through the workout for a quick break so I could catch my breath and check my blood sugar. After both were successfully completed, we were off for some core on the floor. Man, I cannot wait until the day when that gets easier! After "planks", holding yourself up with your forearms and toes, everything burns. It even hurts to breathe! Who knew getting healthy could be so painful?!?
I was sufficiently sweaty and tired after my Tuesday workout, but I was pleased that I was once again pushing my fitness level.
Wednesday dawned early with my faithful canine companion, Lucy, jumping on the bed at 6:07 a.m. to wake me up. I would like to say that she was impatient for my company, but she really wants to be fed. As I sat up, I was reminded what post-work out feels like. I stumbled down the stairs after Lucy and realized that the muscles in my hips and everything south were very tight. I did some stretches, took some ibuprofen and headed out to face the day. Sitting down was painful and standing was painful, which doesn't leave a lot of other alternatives. It was a good hurt, though; one that reminded me that I am making progress.
Thursday started much the same as Wednesday. Usually I feel more pain two days after a heavy work out and that rule held true. Throughout the day, I walked while I was on the phone and stretched when possible. It was a beautiful day, so PT took me outside for some lunges and squats. If any of you are short on entertainment, you could set up lawn chairs across the street from my gym and rate my warm up. I can see it now "9.2", "6.8"! Anyway, my hips were really sore and we retreated to the gym for some more intense stretching that includes PT doing the stretching and me gritting my teeth as I wait for relief. It worked, though, so we worked on weights, alternating with biking and core on the floor. My cool times have gotten shorter and I was out of the gym and on my way to my next meeting in no time.
I returned to the gym on Saturday for about an hour of cardio and stretching. I shake my head as I write that the warm up stretches that work the best for me are --- squats and lunges. PT told me that this is some of the best exercises and he likes to use them. Well, I like ice cream, but I have to settle for squats and lunges! I left the gym feeling great and ready to tackle the rest of the day.
My weight loss has been steady during my time in the gym. I rely upon my doctors and dietician's appointments to get weighed as I do not own a scale. As a recovering anorexic, having a scale can be a dangerous weapon to me. That number can dictate my mood and eating habits and that is a slippery slope. I don't need a scale as I can use my clothes as a good measuring tool. I am currently wearing three different sizes, depending on the garment. It's exciting to wear clothes that have been hibernating in the back of my closet for years! I look in the mirror and see myself coming in to focus.
As a recovering eating disorders patient, I have a very distorted view of body images - my own and other people's. Every couple of years I stumble across pictures taken when I was at my lowest weights - around 85 pounds - and am sorry to say that I don't think that I look too bad. Other people would be shocked by those images, I'm sure, but I did not see it then and I still struggle to see it now.
My new found confidence has been hard fought. I see people in the gym who are fighting the battle too. They may struggle to find the courage to get into their exercise clothes, go to the gym and get on the bike or the tread mill and work hard to get healthy. They may be self-conscious about their fitness level, but they are doing it! They are going several times a week and working hard to reach their goals. My PT has worked hard to help me reach my own goals. Having an exercise partner will help me reach my goals. And, above all, I give God the glory for giving me the courage and the health to take that step every day.
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