Monday, January 26, 2009

Please say "NO' to Quality Time

I have a special affinity for women's magazines. I don't really take all of the advice they advertise, but it's interesting to read another point of view. I love to read about the latest ways to save money on my groceries, although I often find only condiments in my refrigerator when I do decide to cook a meal. Designing on a dime is always fun, but I just put stuff where I think it looks good and that's free! Make-up tips are always great, except that I haven't deviated from my beauty routine in years. All of those recipes intrigue me -- I love to read them while eating!
I came upon an article a couple of years ago entitled "How to get 365 more things done every day". It gave such helpful hints as exercising or balancing your checkbook while you are one the phone. A great idea if you are on hold, but... if I am on the phone with a friend, I'm sure they would appreciate a little more of my attention. The author also suggested doing other things while driving. I live with the belief that for most people, driving alone is quite enough of a challenge without adding extemporaneous activities such as talking on the phone, text messening, putting on make-up, eating, smoking or doing aerobics. I talked with an acquaintance who used his drive time to read! Wow! There is a talented man!
I am a busy person who is always looking for ways to get less busy. I say no to obligations that overextend me. I hate to feel like I'm on a treadmill. Now you want me to do 365 MORE THINGS every day. No Way!
Magazines and trendy therapists often talk about scheduling "quality time" for your children and spouse. This time would be devoted solely to them. I guess you couldn't do aerobics or balance your checkbook while you were having "quality time". My vet asked me if I spend quality time with my pet. Lucy is a Golden Retriever whose sole purpose in life is to be with me every waking and sleeping moment. Quality time for Lucy is every minute that I am with her. (By the way, I did tell the vet that, yes, I did spend quality time with Lucy. I actually take her shopping. Subject for another blog.)
I lost a friend about a year ago. It seemed like a blink of eye from her surprise diagnosis of cancer, treatments, remission, relapse to earning her angel wings. Even now I am still can't believe that she's really gone. I am left with some regrets -- conversations I wanted to have, questions I wanted to ask, advice I needed to solicit. We have all lost friends and family members quickly, too soon.
As I thought about this concept of quality time, the I shook my head and thought, "no". We shouldn't have to schedule quality time with our loves ones, friends and even pets. Because every minute you spend with them should be quality time. We should be fully present for every conversation, every event ~ every time. I need to sit down, put away the checkbook, remote control, women's magazine and listen. Little children should be looked in the eye when they speak to you. Let them now that they count. Go out of your way to take the opportunities to spend time with your family. Those chances won't come around again. Give that hug. Say "I love you". At the end of my life, I want to look back and have no regrets. A lofty goal, but certainly one worth working toward.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to have some quality time with the cupcake on my desk. It does deserve my full attention.

2 comments:

Steve at Random said...

A very nice posting and a good reminder not to clutter our lives with too much stuff. I've been a lot busier than I am now. I used to think that Saturday morning meant heading to the office to catch up on all the work that wasn't done between Monday and Friday. Now I realize that companies can always give you more work to do. Amd Saturday mornings are now spent having breakfast with Belinda's uncles or practicing with the Four Gospels. Take time to smell the roses -- they don't just smell good, they are our national flower!

Lisa Grace said...

How true. As a pillar from our church family just said, "They don't love you more for not taking vacation time." The work will always be there.